Hey guys,
So let me tell you a little about how I work. I typically make a list of things I have to do (like I think everybody else does) and it’s on my Google Tasks. This list always has dates, which the most urgent having earlier due dates and the not so important ones being available towards the tail end.
I scheduled a notification for the 25th of every month to write this newsletter. I missed the 25th because end of the month is typically busy for me. I’m looking over analytics, trying to gauge performance reviews and all that. So I had moved this to 26th and 27th and it’s the 11th. To be honest, there’s a lot of work for me but this is honestly less about work.
Before writing this, I honestly asked myself why I started writing this again, and whether there was any purpose. Talk to writers about how writing about personal stuff is a lot difficult for them, not because they don’t have any ideas but are used to getting paid for writing, that writing for free seems alien to them. Anyway, pay me so I can write more on here.
A Special Dive: Finding Joy in a Place like Nigeria
At some point or the other, everyone must have asked a variant of this question ‘Why Nigeria’. I’ve asked myself the same thing so many times before October 2020, in October 2020 and even now. A friend once asked me how I was coping and I said I was finding ways to spark joy. It seemed very pretentious after I said it, but to be honest, that was the reality of the whole thing.
For one, I created a subset of my Twitter and muted a couple of things on there, and even the few times when Twitter algorithm brought stuff to me, I did a whole 360 and pretended not to see them. You may argue that it didn’t do so much for me, but I’ll say that it did. I also consciously don’t watch videos from anyone in government. I’ll rather read the text.
Also, I’m exploring everything that sends me out of the country. Here's a list I’m looking at when japa is considered.
I’m curious: how are you finding ways to find joy in a place like Nigeria? Please reply me.
All The Good Things
I considered not giving you people good things this month but that would be over a month of no good content and that’s a lie. So let’s get into it
Ariana Grande and The Weeknd performing Save Your Tears
Olaiya stew to be fucking honest
This Zikoko story about queer people who are religious
Another Zikoko story about my friends who got engaged
All the Bobrisky challenges my people did
Doja Cat doing a medley of some of her hit singles
GTBank’s chat with storyteller, Mabel Segun
The show, Halston
This Pride playlist by the Rustin Times and this one Collins did.
The trailer to Legend of the Underground by HBO
Dua Lipa performing this medley of songs from Future Nostalgia
More Serious Stuff: Thoughts On Dating, Relationships and Marriage
I struggled before I arrived at this topic. Very recently, I’ve been talking a lot about dating with myself and with people close to me. I was in a relationship last in 2019 (I could have sworn it was 2018 but it’s not). Anyway, very recently, I’ve been teased with the idea of falling back and I’ll be sharing some things I’ve told myself or other people (or that I’ve been told)
The dating pool in Lagos (and Nigeria) to be honest is the ghetto
Love isn’t enough
I want to settle down. Streets don tire me small
Communication is a lot more complex than it may seem (or that it’s talked about)
Because I don dey for streets no mean say I go accept medicority
Better to be by yourself than being with mediocre people
Life is not a warzone
I’m very convinced that somethings should be easy. Relationships are one of them. Not rosy but not a fucking struggle. Life is already hard enough as it is
Don’t fixate on your current state.
Time still dey.
I’ll do well as a rich uncle who gives his friends children gifts
It may take a while for you to accept mediocrity but whenever you wake up is your morning
Anyway, that’s it for this month. Off to rush and do other things I’ve been postponing on my to-do. If you read this, let me know. I want to know what you thought. Shoutout to Esther by the way who has full blown emails with me over the content of this newsletter. You rock!
Best,
Frank.