Hey you,
First, thank you very much for reading the first edition of this. I looked back at the stats and saw that A LOT of people clicked on the links and even saw that three people shared and tagged me on Twitter. (look, I’m a big deal now). So, yeah, thanks for all the feedback and the love. Obviously, if you’re expecting the second letter to be better, you may need to lower your expectation.
Unlike last month, this month has been much productive. In short, that’s my response when people ask me how my day went? Maybe because August was meh at first or something else, but I can’t help but show off my badge of productivity. I’m close to smashing my work target. There’s still about a week to go, so I’m optimistic and then, all is kind of well with the world so I’m alright.
The productivity level may be the only new thing between the last letter and now. I’m still single to stupor, watching TikTok videos and watching TV shows for the most. Same old Franklin. Oh, and then there’s Instagram. I’m trying to build an Instagram for my adventures. It’s mostly food for now, but I’ll keep putting stuff there. Follow me
All The Good Stuff
I’m fresh off from watching Ryan Murphy’s Ratched and the picture and the acting are the best things about this show. I’m also very excited about Regina King and Yahya Abdul-Mateen II (aka my husband) winning the Emmy for their work on Watchmen. So you should watch those if you haven’t.
I also recently saw my friend Uyaiedu’s film called Ife and I was in awe of what I saw. It’s her first time as a director and if what I saw is anything to go by, then wow. I’m very excited about the stories she’ll tell in the future. It will have a festival run, and then hopefully, come back to a platform accessible to everybody. I should also write a review, by the next time you read this newsletter.
My friend, Peter has a football podcast and I’m trying to see if listening to their one episode will help me understand football.
This month, here are some of the most interesting articles I’ve read. I’m thinking of picking five monthly because shortening them to three is always hard for me. Anyway, enjoy these.
This very long read about negotiating a job offer which I feel we need to talk about more
For people like me who can’t wait to travel again, this article talks about air travel after the pandemic
This article about how Jesus became a white man
I’ll end this section with Tiwa Savage’s performance for Tiny Desk at one of my favourite places in Lagos - Jazzhole.
Serious Conversations
I used to have a problem saying ‘no’ to people. Normally, this is how the journey went for me.
Step 1: You tell me what you want
Step 2: It dawns on me that I cannot help you out or I’m not the best person
Step 3: I listen to you rant and promise that I’ll do something
Step 4: I do nothing.
However, very recently, I realised that it was too much for me. I was doing stuff that was taking up my time, and not getting any form of benefits from it but just doing it because I thought I owed it to this person.
According to, Susan Newman, PhD, a social psychologist, our lack of ability to say “no” isn’t some kind of personal flaw we’re born with–saying “no” is a learned behaviour.
And so I’m learning to say no very often. This week alone, I’ve said no to someone at work who wanted me to do something that’ll make their work easier, and make mine more difficult. I’ve also said no to someone who sent me an email to do some work because I felt that what they intended paying me wasn’t commensurate to the work I was going to do. It’s easier to do it to strangers and internet buddies, but I’m trying out with my family and friends too (so lookout, because I’ll say no to you)
Stealing this paragraph from this wonderful article on saying no to the people you can’t say no to.
By the time we reach adulthood, it’s no wonder most of us suffer anxiety at just the thought of saying “no” to someone. This anxiety, according to Susan Newman, results from the perceived ramifications about what will happen if we dare to say “no.” Will our boss give the best assignments to a coworker who says “yes” to everything, limiting our career prospects? Will our friends expel us from the group if we don’t accept every invite? Will we hurt a sibling’s feelings if we don’t have time to help them? Will a partner or child think we are self-centred or uncaring if we tell them “no”?
Ironically, the answer to all the above is almost certainly a “no.”
“The fallout from a ‘no’ is rarely as bad as you think it will be,” The sky won’t fall, your family won’t stop loving you, and your boss won’t fire you–heck, everyone will probably respect you and your time more if you say “no” more often.
That’s it for now. Listen to Tomi Owo’s EP called Pieces. I’m listening to that as I type this.
Until next time, no.
Frank.